Separation anxiety is tough on our dogs and us as owners. Perhaps you’ve come home to chewed-up shoes or have a pet that looks genuinely heartbroken to see you leave. As a result of our dogs being unhappy about being left alone, daily life can become more challenging (and stressful). In this article, I’ll share what I’ve learned about separation anxiety and how to recognize and deal with it. Below, you’ll discover some practical tips for fixing this common problem.
What is Separation Anxiety in Dogs?
“Separation anxiety” essentially means your dog experiences intense stress, fear, or discomfort when they’re apart from you. Some pups handle this situation just fine: maybe they watch you leave from the window and then go about their day.
Common Causes
Studies identify four main causes of distress for dogs when separated from their owners (1):
- Experiencing boredom.
- Trying to escape something inside the house.
- Wanting to reach something outside.
- Reacting to external noises or events.
Dogs with separation anxiety can’t shake that awful feeling—you might not return. For them, being left alone feels overwhelming. As a result, they may act up, and they do this to feel safer or reunited with you.
What to Do?
Read on to learn about the symptoms and solutions for this problem—an ideal starting point to help your pet feel more comfortable. Plus, it should bring some well-deserved peace to your routine as well.
Signs and Symptoms of Separation Anxiety in Dogs
Recognizing what separation anxiety in dogs looks like is important for pet parents because this approach can help you figure out what to do. Here’s a breakdown of some of the most common symptoms:
Constant Barking or Howling
My dog would bark nonstop after I left. It wasn’t the usual “see you later” bark—it was loud, repetitive, and clearly driven by anxiety. If your pup does this too, ask yourself: Are they feeling lost without you?
Destructive Chewing or Scratching
A classic sign of separation anxiety in dogs is chewing on furniture or scratching doors and windows. One dog I worked with chewed the edges of the door frame because he was desperately trying to “escape” to find his owner. This unruly behavior often centers on areas near exits. So, this should tell you just how intent they are on finding a way out to be with you.
Accidents in the House
House-trained dogs who have accidents indoors when you leave might be experiencing this type of anxiety rather than a lapse in their training. I had a border collie that would accidentally pee if I was gone from the house, and it was a clue that she was feeling anxious and out of sorts.
Pacing or Circling
Anxious pups often pace in a repetitive pattern. This behavior is typically a coping mechanism for the stress they feel. One nervous dog I cared for would pace from the door to the window and back again—just a simple back and forth—until her owner returned.
These are just a few classic signs of separation anxiety in dogs. Every dog expresses their emotions differently, but by knowing these symptoms, you’re already taking excellent steps to help.
Best Ways to Treat Separation Anxiety in Dogs
There’s no instant fix for anxiety in dogs that are separated from their owners, but the right combination of strategies can make a substantial difference. Gradually desensitizing them, establishing a routine, and using calming techniques like music and Adaptil have worked for me and others I’ve helped.
Start with Gradual Desensitization
For many pups, easing into alone time is key. To start, for example, leave them alone for a minute or two, then slowly increase the time away as they relax. For one dog, I began with a simple walk down the hall and rewarded her with a treat when I returned. Slowly but surely, this method can help your pup build confidence that you’ll return.
Establish a Routine
Dogs love patterns and rituals, don’t they? It’s like their security blanket. When they know exactly when to expect meals and walks (and your departures and returns), they can feel more confident. When I added a little more structure to my fur baby’s day, she seemed more at ease (even when I had to go out at different times). The lesson here is that a little consistency can make a big difference.
Reward Calm Behavior
Whenever your dog stays calm, you want to reward that behavior with treats or gentle praise. For example, as you’re getting ready to leave or when you return, these are perfect times to reward peaceful behavior. For instance, my collie used to get very worked up whenever I picked up my keys. I’d put the keys down next to me, wait for her to settle, and offer her a treat. She eventually stopped associating my keys with the end of the world.
Experiment with Music for Separation Anxiety in Dogs
Believe it or not, the right music can be incredibly soothing for nervous dogs! There are even playlists on Spotify and YouTube specifically targeted for pets dealing with separation anxiety. Classical music worked wonders for one of my particularly clingy dogs—when I played it, she’d settle down faster. Try playing soft tunes when you’re about to leave; this solution could be the calming background they need.
Use Adaptil Diffusers and Calming Scents
A diffuser with Adaptil can work wonders for many anxious dogs. Adaptil releases a synthetic pheromone (similar to what mother dogs release to soothe their puppies). When you set up a diffuser, you may notice your dog becoming more relaxed in the room where the diffuser is placed. So if your pup feels nervous about being alone, this solution may provide reassurance.
Give Them Interactive Toys and Puzzles
Puzzle and treat toys are terrific for giving your dog something productive to focus on. They are a wonderful distraction to stop scared pups worrying about where you are. I find a Classic Stuffable Kong Toy filled with treats works especially well. When your dog gets absorbed in figuring out the puzzle, they may barely notice you’ve left. What a great way to distract and mentally engage them!
Crate Training
For some pets, a comfortable and properly sized crate feels like a haven rather than confinement. This approach can be helpful for calming nervous dogs. I know one dog who absolutely loved her crate, and thanks to training, she’d go there voluntarily whenever she needed a break. It’s important to introduce the crate gradually and positively. You want to make sure it is a space that speaks of comfort and not punishment.
Exercise Before You Go
A happily tired-out dog is often a more relaxed one. So please give them a good amount of brisk exercise before you leave your home. I like to take dogs on a swift walk or play a game (like frisbee) before leaving them alone. This simple strategy can noticeably decrease anxiety levels before heading out.
Separation Anxiety Training in Nervous Dogs
Working on separation anxiety training takes time to achieve. But it’s so rewarding to see the improvements. The following techniques have helped my pets and others:
Short Departures and Returns
Start by stepping out for no more than a minute or two and gradually extend the time. For example, one dog I helped needed multiple short withdrawals throughout the day; otherwise, he wouldn’t relax. By making the exits gradually longer, he realized that my leaving wasn’t something to stress about.
Ignore Departure Cues
Dogs are great at picking up subtle signals—like grabbing your keys or putting on your shoes—sure signs you’re leaving. I’d practice these actions without actually going anywhere to desensitize my pet to the cues. Over time, she stopped associating these actions with my disappearing.
Reward Calm Behavior on Return
Instead of immediately greeting an overly excited dog, here’s a better way to handle it: wait quietly and patiently until they’ve calmed down. I used to make the mistake of immediately giving attention, but this only reinforced my dog’s anxiety. Wait a few seconds, then give praise for calmer behavior. It will help them relax.
Final Thoughts
Helping a dog with separation anxiety is not an immediate fix, but every small success of the process is worth celebrating. If your pet’s emotions feel overwhelming, it helps to remember patience and consistency in your approach. Whether finding the most appropriate music, using calming scents, or practicing brief departures, the right combination of these solutions should help you both.
Please remember also that your dog isn’t acting out of defiance—they’re simply anxious and lost without you. Try these techniques; you’ll be well on your way to easing their stress and giving you both a more peaceful, balanced life.
References
- New research identifies root causes of separation anxiety in dogs | AVMA
- Sargisson R. J. (2014). Canine separation anxiety: strategies for treatment and management. Veterinary medicine (Auckland, N.Z.), 5, 143–151. https://doi.org/10.2147/VMRR.S60424
